Me...

Sometimes I wonder about what makes me who I am. Or I guess...what am I truly passionate about? What could I talk about or read about for hours on end? I guess these things change...obviously they do with different life experiences. 

I'm not that into politics or "important" things going on in the world. Not that I am completely ignorant to what is going on, but I wouldn't choose to, or feel qualified to have a conversation about politics or current events dealing with this. I know my morals and the issues I stand firmly for/against. But I don't desire to have a debate about the "extra" stuff. I guess that's ok. 

I'm not that into reading classic literature or discussing famous authors, and I don't remember all of the math, history, or science I learned in school. 

I enjoy playing games with friends...but I don't spend much time "strategizing" and trying to understand the ones that take a lot of time, or even card games...I just...play, but that's what makes it fun. 

I'm not that into "fashion" or the right and wrong things to buy/wear or how to do my hair/makeup. I do enjoy shopping, dressing up, wearing fun jewelry, and looking nice...but I'm not a fancy or "high maintenance" person. See?...(Ok, so it WAS Tacky Sweater Day in this picture...were you getting worried? haha)

I enjoy music and being a music teacher...but if you asked me to have an in-depth conversation about a piece of classical music, a composer, a music theory example, or even some of the things I teach, I might not be able to explain clearly or even know what to say. Also, if you ask me about current musicians, music shows such as American Idol, etc...I'm at a loss. I obviously love listening to music of many types and when I hear a song, I can usually "name that tune," but that's about it. So...I guess I'm no music scholar. Yes I have a degree in music, so I'm not saying I know "nothing!" I am just not an expert. 

But... ask me to take pictures, and I can find anything to say without using words. I love capturing things that seem ordinary to everyone else...and finding ways to see the "character." (You might say I can thank my mom and my grandad for this, because both have been an example to me in their love for photography!) I love capturing memories...friends, family, people, places...I don't claim to be "good" at this art, but I am passionate about it! 

I get excited about writing. I don't claim to be "good" at this either, though I've been encouraged since childhood to continue writing by teachers and others. I don't really enjoy a certain category of writing, but some of my biggest accomplishments in life have come from this ability - my Missouri State Cadet Teacher of the Year honor my senior year of high school, college scholarships from private organizations at the end of high school, a chance to present my Music History paper at Scholars Day in college, a free trip to locations in Europe I selected and wrote about through Kappa Delta Pi International Teacher Honor Fraternity in college, and now two major grants while teaching music - world drums through American Orff-Schulwerk Association, and a Smart Board through our district technology grant. I've really considered taking a class or two on grant writing, because I get excited about this, and also enjoy writing for the areas I mentioned before. So...is there a category for all that? I don't know!

I love, love, love serving other people. I first began serving when I was a child, through our church missions program - GAs. But, in high school, I really started getting more involved in community service, and in college it was one of my biggest joys. I wouldn't say people remember me a lot on campus as being "well-known" or a super scholar...but I do think a lot of people in my church and the service teams remember me. And I love that. Well, more than remembering ME, I want them to remember this ABOUT me, and above all remember the joy of Christ I had while I was serving. I guess one of my other biggest "accomplishments" was receiving the "Ray of Light" Community Service award from the Sunrise Rotary Club in Arkadelphia while in college. Glory to God for that opportunity, and for the heart He has given me for service! 

Which leads me to....

International service! I am SO in love with meeting people from other cultures here and taught ESL on campus in an evening community outreach program my last two years of college. Specifically, a piece of my heart is in Africa, where I served for three weeks on a mission trip during college and hope to return one day! 

I could talk about THIS all day! I could share the many experiences I had there, how inadequate I was, but how God blessed my life more than I could have ever imagined. I am no theologian, and I don't have have the entire Bible memorized. (That's one of this year's goals, right? Ha...Ok, so that was said in a joking manner, but really, why should I joke about that? I DO have the goal of memorizing more Scripture and hiding it in my heart to meditate on and share with others!) I can't argue my faith in detail or provide answers to every question I encounter. Even I still have questions. But I can love and serve. God has given me a love for the people and children I meet, and sometimes, just showing that love, serving those people, and learning to live their culture...can say more than thousands of words. 

And yes...I do LOVE to play percussion and make noise on some drums! God has given me THAT love and passion...and I believe it is how I "yell!" haha Nobody ever guesses I'm a percussionist the first time they meet me. But that's ok. I know it. And my heart does too! 

So...what makes me, me? Well...I think there are a lot of things. A lot more than I can think of here. But isn't it amazing how God created each of us so differently? We are all his children, created in His image, yet we are all unique in our Spirit, personality, and presence. And I like that. 

One Goal...

One New Year's Goal...

Be rested. It is hard commuting to work this year - I will be truthful and say there is nothing "fun" about waking up at 5 a.m. every day. But...I will say it is a little less difficult when I have enough rest. (Insert lightbulb here...what an idea! ha) This is no new phenomenon, but something I'm not the best at. I am sometimes (ok a lot of times) a procrastinator and though I hate to admit it - sometimes a time waster. So I have set a time I want to be in be in bed each night, and I've also started reading before I sleep...hey, this being rested thing isn't so bad after all. This does not mean I'm not still counting the days left until Saturday each morning when my alarm goes off, though! After all, the poor clock is so overworked this year, it deserves at least one day, off, right?!

I'm learning more and more that it takes extra effort, consistency, and willingness to continue to succeed at important things, big and small! And how being rested not only affects my day at work, but also my spiritual growth, my attitude, and my physical state.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz--------

Happy New Year!

I started 2011 with a fun and crazy day with family. My mom's side of the family came over to celebrate Christmas, and there were lots of laughs! When everyone is there, we have 20 just with my parents, brothers, sisters, and their families. Then, with my grandparents, aunts, uncle, cousins, and cousin's child, we have 28! Yesterday we were missing my sister-in-law who works weekends as a nurse, and my sister and her family, who live in Texas, making the grand total 23!! So...here are our very most serious pictures of the day! Don't laugh too hard! I hope I won't see any of them copied and pasted onto awkwardfamilyphotos.com! haha

Family resemblance? Naaahhhh!

Laura decided to go for the Steve Urkel look with her new pajamas! The polka dots kind of cover it up, but if you look closely, they are pulled up....wayyyy high! 

Granny, Carolyn, and Aunt Patti...wait a minute - how come they look so normal? This is not an accurate family photo...haha

 Grandad decided he wanted a "circle" picture of all the great grandkids - I didn't get one with all the great grand-kids, but here is the first one with my brother's five girls. 

 I did, however, wind up in the "grandkid" photo! haha How come the in-laws didn't have to be in it? Kenny and Kristin had a good time watching all of this going on, and yes, laughing just a little!

Clockwise: Carolyn (cousin in purple stripes), Mark (brother), Bryan (brother), Myrenda (cousin), Me, Carrie (sister)

 Laura and Lane...looks like big sister is thinking about something...mischievous, maybe? Nah!

Present opening time! - Lots of "organized chaos!" :) My cousin Austin's face kind of says it all!

 Finally got Grandad in a picture - he's usually behind the camera! 

Grandad, Kenny (Myrenda's husband), Dad, and Myrenda (cousin)

 Granny and her presents...I guess she was on Santa's good list this year! haha

I told you we only take serious photos in our family, so I thought I'd end with a few examples...next year's Christmas card photos? 

 The shower caps were an inside joke! You had to be there. But I do love our whisk and spatula though...again, my sister and I are never crazy when we are together. We always maintain the most serious and proper composure. 

I've been thinking about some of my goals for the year and might post about those eventually, but for now, it's time to get ready for the real world again...tomorrow morning is quickly coming!

But really...

Since this is post 110, and it is my final post for the year 2010, I feel like I should have something important to say. Or wise. Hmmm, well I can't guarantee "wise" or "important" but here's something...

I guess if I could sum up my 2010 in one word, it would be "waiting." God has continuously taught me about His presence, the importance and joy of trusting Him fully, and His faithful provision and timing...while I've waited. Waiting is something we do every day, for mail, a t.v. show, at a stoplight, in a grocery line, on hold on the telephone...well, you get the picture. But I have learned about waiting on the Lord...about truly resting in His arms as He takes the lead and guides me in His will. I've waited on small things I mentioned before, and I've waited on big and obvious things like my new job assignment, the various parts of the JM application process, responses from friends, and other things. Each time God has shown Himself strong and faithful, even when I have drawn away. And each time, He has gently pulled me closer to Him, reminding me He is always there. So...though I don't know what 2011 will bring, I do have confidence in the fact that God is already there - He knew and planned each of my days, even before I was here.

I pray you will trust Him and seek Him fully as 2010 fades and 2011 begins. Happy New Year, and may God bless you!

"You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." -Psalm 139

"But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." -Isaiah 40:31

Hey look!

Another blog post! Ok, not really...but now I have 109 for the year! That's 99 more than I had at this time last year! :)

No Reason, Really...

For having two blog posts in one day, except...I'm a little picky sometimes...and I want my year to end with 110 posts and not 107...lol...that gives me one more for each of the days left after today!

I entered a photo contest yesterday! Just for fun! I don't expect to win or anything, and don't claim to be a great photographer - I don't even have a fancy camera, just a small digital...but I do love taking pictures! Anyway, it is a Christmas contest, and I just googled "Christmas photo contests" and found one that was free and seemed pretty small and low key. There are ten categories, and you can enter three pictures, so I entered one in the "decorations" category, and two in the "artistry" category for random pictures that just capture the season. We'll see what happens...Judging starts Jan. 7th, and they'll post the pics in a slideshow on their website during the judging. The three I entered are from the collection a few posts below this one! :) I entered the bells below the tree, the sprinkled pretzels, and a the third picture of the vanilla my sister made with the red towel and green bow.

I don't have many shows on t.v. I love, but for some reason...I'm a Gilmore Girls fan. I own all seven seasons, and have watched them all once...so I started again over the break, and I'm enjoying the middle of Season One right now. There's just something about curling up in fuzzy pajama pants, drinking coffee, watching your favorite show, and being lazy on a vacation day!

I actually mailed all my Christmas cards before the New Year this time! That's really good for me! haha...I still have two or three addresses to get, but at least those cards are written, sealed, stamped, and ready to go!

Speaking of photos...I have SO many digital ones saved on CD and my computer...I need to print them one day and work on my scrapbooks. Unfortunately it's always one of those, "when I have time one day..." projects that just keeps getting put off!

Tomorrow I'm going with one of my best friends to try on wedding dresses! Well, she'll be trying them on, not me! haha I'm going to be her maid of honor this summer, and I'm really excited! It will be fun to watch! Other than looking for dresses for my sister (who was still in China at the time...but that's another long story for another day!), and watching t.v. shows like "Say Yes to the Dress," I've never gotten to watch anyone try them on before. I hope I'm a good helper!

I'm not ready to go back to school yet. There are so many things I was going "to do" that I haven't even started yet. It's just so hard to be motivated when you know with all your heart it is supposed to be vacation time. I don't completely regret this though, because I have really and truly enjoyed the time relaxing, seeing family and friends, and doing nothing. Hopefully I'll be ready by Tuesday! I really want to look forward to going to work this semester, but I'm still not sure...please pray for me if you think about it!

Oh, speaking of work - here are a few funny pictures from our "Tacky Sweater Day" we had the last Monday before vacation! I didn't have time to find a sweater, so I wound up borrowing some things from our tree and attaching them to a sweater from my mom's closet. Oh well...it was fun anyway!! haha

Gotta love the earrings...they were actually a beautiful gift from a friend's trip to Rwanda earlier this year, but they added just the right touch to this sweater too! :) Unfortunately I forgot to put them on for school! 

The sweater on its own special hanger! A little lopsided there, think that bow was a little heavy? 

So I wanted my Christmas socks to show too...and I definitely rolled up my pants legs...it was a, uh, special style for sure!

One of my favorite co-workers....Christy! She had on a Twelve Days of Christmas sweater!

Some more fun sweaters...the three teachers in the middle made a reindeer together - love working with those girls! Too much fun! haha Our principal is on the far left in the lovely green snowman sweater! :)

That's quite a collection of uh....tacky apparel! haha

They had us all line up for the "voting," and when it was our turn we could step out and try to get people to make the most noise for our sweater...I decided to dance around and show off my socks too! 

Ready for the judging! 

The reindeer!

The best looking young teachers in our building, of course! 

Yes, my third grade Christmas program was that evening, and in case you were wondering - I did wear the sweater to the program too! haha

And of course, I had to have a picture in my classroom too...it was a fun day! 

Well, I guess that's about all for this two-post day! Happy Wednesday, and rest of the week to you!

Looking Forward...

Most days it feels like so much is up in the air. And it really is. If I am accepted into the JM program, that will mean leaving my family, friends, and home for two years. Packing. Getting rid of things. Selling my car. Leaving my job. If I'm not accepted into the program, or I don't go, I used to think I would just stay where I'm at. After all, I have what would be considered by most as a "great" job! And I do love being with all my kids every day. I have great support from my mentor, colleagues, and fine arts coordinator. I have supplies this year, just wrote and received a grant for drums, and have levels one and two of Orff-Schulwerk training finished. It makes the most sense, and since this is the job and place God has provided for me, it must be that He wants me to stay here, right? But...I'm not happy. And happiness vs. contentment could be a whole separate post, but for now, I need to work through the feelings I've had for awhile. Blessed, yes. Provided for, with a stable (well for now, I think!) job, an excellent income, and the ability to make all the payments I need to. I recognize all these things and thank God for them. I know it would be "impractical" to leave something out of unhappiness. (And explaining how leaving for the JM program is not an excuse to escape unhappiness could also be another post...I am fully confident that my decision to apply was prompted by God and He will lead me in His will through this time.)

So where am I going with all this? Well, I used to think because I had a wonderful job, close to home, with an excellent salary, etc...it must be where God wanted me to be. I would say, "When God leads me, I'll go somewhere else..." or "In God's timing, He'll show me what to do..." And He will. But - recently I was reminded that we also have a free will to make choices. Sometimes God calls us to step out in faith and give ourself options. If it is my heart's desire to go overseas, I should apply for that opportunity and pray wholeheartedly, seeking God's direction. I will know I've made the effort to apply and sought God's will and timing, and if it does not work out, I will know it was not where I was mean to be at this time in my life. And if I am unhappy in my job (and I just can't pinpoint why, but I continuously struggle with and fight the battle of going through those feelings each day), maybe I should apply for another job. Or pursue the masters degree in Speech Pathology I have wanted to work toward since college. I guess my point is, it is ok to give myself choices. It is ok to pray to God and ask Him to open and close doors, leading me as I seek out where I am supposed to be. And while He has called me to be here now, and I should continue to work each day as if for Him and not for man, and be an example of Christ to my students and co-workers, it doesn't mean this is the "only plan" He can have for my life. It is starting to make more sense to me now.

I am so thankful for where I am at now - for the chance to start off my teaching career in a familiar place with wonderful supports and the chance to be close to home, and now living at home for a bit. And I feel confident that God has called me to teach or work with children and has given me a passion for loving and caring for them. But I am seeing now He has given me many desires. As long as I give those desires to Him fully and trust that He is the very one who created me to be the person I am, He will be with me, no matter what choices I pursue...because I will have my heart and mind set on Him. He will open and close doors, and He will give my heart the strength and peace to face those doors.

I can hardly wait to see what He has in store for me as time goes on...I'm so glad He is a God who is living and is constantly at work!