Ok - I'm gonna go out on a limb here and "stereotype" for a minute...but it's about my "own kind," so I guess it's semi-legal.
A lot of musicians have "complexes."
There. I said it. Maybe it has something to do with always striving to be better at their instrument or vocal skills. Maybe it is because the world of professional music can be so highly competitive, and obviously everyone can't be "the best." And then, sometimes maybe it is just the personality of the musician. I'm not sure.
I just know that...I must be different. I have enjoyed singing for all of my life and began playing percussion in fifth grade, continuing all the way through college. I love, love, love that too. Of course I have the desire to practice and be better...but not obsessively so. I think for me it was always just another one of the many interests I had, and the one I chose as a career choice to go with teaching. I'm not obsessed with sounding the best, being better than others around me, or knowing the most. I just....enjoy music.
So - when I hear other music teachers talking about "how they do things," or "how they can do it better than a presenter..." etc...I honestly just take it in stride and know I'm not an expert. That's not my goal, really. I mean, yes - it is always my goal to learn more and do my best - to be the best music teacher my kids can have. But I don't let "being the expert who knows more than all the other experts" stress me out. I also feel a little odd when other teachers/colleagues listen to a piece of music or a performance and analyze/criticize it. When I listen to a piece of music, I don't analyze every second, listen for mistakes, and talk about how I could have done a better job or what I could do to fix it for that person/group. I just...listen. And I enjoy it. I can hear simple mistakes, and that's ok. I might prefer one group/performer over another based on quality, etc. But - it's not the drive/passion behind what I do. It's like watching a movie...you can question every moment and talk about what is going to happen next and think hard to figure it out...or you can just watch and find out at the end. I'm more of a "find out at the end" and "enjoy the movie" kind of person.
I guess my passion/drive is in how I teach my kids. I want them to enjoy music. I want them to know how to sing/play in the best way they can, but I don't expect perfection. When we give a performance, I want them to do their best, and I hope for it to be as organized and well-presented as possible, but I also want it to be fun and memorable. I'm not into the "high stress/demand" part of my career.
So...there's my confession for the day. I am not your "typical" musician. And I'm ok with that. :)