Sunday, October 31, 2010

Fun With Family!

It's been a fun weekend hanging out in Springfield with family! One of my sisters came from another state to visit, so of course there has been much time laughing, cooking, eating Chinese, playing with our nieces and nephews, and...just hanging out! Yesterday we had lunch at my brother's house with his wife and my niece and nephew, and my other brother, his wife, and their five girls came too! "Nanna" and "Poppy" also drove to Springfield for the day. It's rare for that many of us to be together in one place these days, and I wish I'd taken more pictures while everyone was together, but I did get a few of my brother Mark and my niece and nephew Laura and Lane! Before Nanna and Poppy headed home, we all went to Andy's for frozen was the perfect Fall afternoon with beautiful sunshine and outdoor weather!

Laura and her Daddy showing their silly sides with Poppy

A little balancing act for our entertainment while we waited for our frozen treats!

Whoops! I don't know if Lane got more in his mouth or on his outfit...haha

Laura enjoyed her frozen treat too! 

Next up for our entertainment was a little dancing act! 

I had the pumpkin pie concrete, and I have to was pretty Fall-fabulous! :) 

After everyone left town, the rest of us went to Laura's favorite place, "The Circle Store!" 
(also sometimes called Target! haha)

I'm so thankful for the family God has blessed me with! For all the laughter, love, fun, tears, support, encouragement, Godly examples, and the relationship we all have together! I'm also thankful for fun niece and nephew time, since I don't have kids of my own yet! Aunts get the best can play with them, spoil them, love them, and then send them back to their parents until next time! lol :)

Free Personal signatures - cool!


Saturday, October 30, 2010

New Look!

Hooray! I think I've figured it out! :) At least for now! So here's to a new blog look!

Friday, October 29, 2010

In the process of figuring out the blog makeover thing...I'll get it soon! For now, sorry for the weird blue color with the new orange and brown polka-dots :)

It's Those Little Times...

...when sometimes God uses routine people in your day to encourage you.

Today I am thankful for the guards who check our IDs every morning at the gate going into work. I could insert top secret sounding spy music here and make myself sound super high-class, secure, and important...HA! Instead, I guess I'll just tell you I teach on an Army base, and every morning I wait in a line of traffic to drive through a gate and show ID to get on the base.

But that's not the point. God has used these men and women to encourage me in such funny and random ways over the past two and a half years. Most days I drive up, show my school ID and go through the gate with a, "Have a good day, Ma'am." But sometimes it's different.

I still remember the time my first year of teaching when I was having a pretty bad week, feeling down, and wondering if I would ever be a good, effective teacher. That was the morning I drove through the gate and the man said, "Have a good day, Ma'am. Oh, and...don't let those kids get you down!" As I passed through and drove into traffic, I got chills. He had no idea I was having a bad week. Or that I taught every student in my building. It was truly one of those times where you slow down, look in the rear view mirror, and check to see if he is still there, or if he was one of those people God sent at just the right time, just to speak with you, and then they're gone.

Lately there is a guard who says every morning, "Have a blessed day..." which just adds a little extra joy in the morning.

And today, the guard said, "Ma'am, you've been selected for a random search..." to which my mind suddenly switched into, "I hope I have all the right documents/nothing suspicious looking and that this won't take long and make me late for work..." when suddenly he said, "and you're going to have to drive ten laps around the building before we can let you go..." and cracked a big smile, telling me "Just kidding - have a great Friday!" I was still smiling a few minutes later when I got to school. A little humor  goes a long way sometimes!

So, today I'm thankful for the ordinary people I see every day. I'm thankful for the ways God uses them, while they spend hours standing at a gate, checking IDs with sometimes rather impatient people waiting to get through.

And I'm thankful that God uses me, just an ordinary person, walking through life, teaching school, loving kids, and trying to be more like Him every day (with super spy music playing in the background! lol) You never know when He will take you, an ordinary person in an ordinary moment, and use you in an extraordinary way if you just let Him!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Dear Beatrice...

You are the best red car a girl could ask for. I like all the memories I have from the road trips we've taken together, the last year and a half of college you spent with me, the kids you've hauled around while I was babysitting, and the many, many, many trips to and from work we're making this year. I think it's only appropriate that you hit your 100,000 mile mark on a trip to Arkansas! Not just everyone has a car special enough to type a letter to on their blog! lol Here's to another 28 car payments and 100,000 more miles, right?! (After all, I did see a billboard on our trip home today that said "80% of Toyotas made in the past 20 years are still on the road today...") -Signed, Your Faithful Road-Trippin', Adventure Takin' Music Teacher, Me! 

P.S. Every special car needs a name, right? haha Well, in case you were wondering, (and even if you were not!) Beatrice got her name from the boat I rode down the Amazon River on during my Brazil mission trip in college. It was called The Beatrice, and I decided that taking road trips together in my red car was almost as exciting as riding a big boat down the Amazon...almost, thus the shared name! :) 

What's your favorite car/road trip/driving memory?

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Home Sweet...

Arkansas! (I'll confess that I actually cheered inside when I saw the sign! And yes, I pulled the car over to take the picture...I thought I'd better not meet the Lord, just yet! haha)

This truly is my second home. I spent five years there in college, and who knew I would love it so much? God blessed me with so many friends, "adopted family members," and a church family while I was there. I had a wonderful education at Ouachita Baptist University, and studied with professors who cared about us, were very experienced in their professions, and challenged me to grow as a person and as a musician. This weekend I am visiting for Homecoming, and my heart is already feeling full! :)

Tonight I stopped in Little Rock for dinner and some catch-up time with a friend who recently moved back to Arkansas. It was such a blessing and encouragement to just spend time talking, listening, laughing, and praying together. God has really been working in both of our lives this year, and He isn't finished yet! Love you, friend!

I'm staying with one of my favorite families from church...they have been kind enough to open and share their home with me many times over the past seven years (has it already been THAT long?!), and I lived with them for three summers during college. They continue to encourage me, even from a state away!

Tomorrow I will see the marching band (and miss that rush of being out on the field with my drum...), catch up with my SAI (music fraternity) sisters, and hopefully run into other friends.

Sunday I will worship at my church (where I will visit my favorite senior adult ladies' Sunday School class!) and eat Sunday lunch with my family from church and other guests before heading back.

My heart has been longing for a visit...thank you Lord for the opportunity to head South for a weekend of family, friends, encouragement, and memories! :)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

One of my kids said something SO funny...

on Tuesday. And then I forgot to write it down! (Sorry to disappoint you by putting that title, then letting you down! haha) I wish I could remember everything they say! I mean, lucky am I that I have 550 kids to say funny things this year instead of just 300? There are benefits to teaching a ginormous number of kiddos, right? Gotta look on the bright side! Oh well, good thing there are three quarters left of school to hear more funny things!

I'm thinking it's time for a little bit of a blog makeover. I wish I could find and use a cool background like everyone else has! I've searched online to find some but never seemed to be able to make them work. I would also like a cool signature. Then I could feel all official-like, right?

Tonight I experienced "Judgement House" at my church for the very first time! It is an awesome ministry my church shares every year in October and has for the past few years. Wow. I admit I was nervous to go. I thought it might make me sad. Or scared. Or that I might just laugh out of nervousness. was so worth going. And from today-Saturday night there will be literally over a thousand people who walk through the tour and see the message of Jesus in a whole new way. The event is free, and you can call to schedule a group tour, or even an individual spot, or you can walk-in, but may have to wait awhile to be placed with a group. I encourage anyone who is near Waynesville and able to go, to take some time to walk through. It takes about one hour.

Basically, you walk through a drama, with each room being a different scene from the story. When you get to the very last room, it is "Heaven," and there is just something about it. It's not cheesy, or fake, or are standing on a golden walkway, seeing children of God surrounding you, and Jesus before you. He comes to each and every person in the group, looks you in the eyes, and speaks to you as if you are really there. To me He said, "I am so proud of you." I know there is no way we can ever know what Heaven will be like until we get there, but God does promise us we will have new life, filled with abundant freedom from pain, sorrow, and burdens of this world. What a glorious eternal future we have to look forward to...if we only choose to trust in the Lord! There is also a "Hell" scene. This one is hard. It really portrays how dry it will be there, spiritually, physically, and eternally. We will not have a second chance to believe and leave there once we die. The Bible also tells us those who are in Hell will be there eternally. God wants us to experience His full love and eternal freedom. He wants us to step forward on Judgement Day and hear our name that is written in His Book of Life. I pray God will give me a broken heart and eyes to see those who have chosen not to follow Him, do not know how to follow Him, or feel unworthy of following Him. I long to take His truth and love to the nations. And above all, I left the evening knowing beyond a doubt that if I were to die tonight, I would be spending an eternity with my Heavenly Father.

Will you?

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Weekend Goodness...

This weekend I spent a lot of time relaxing...and just being at home.

I love time like that.

Saturday I chose not to go to a music teacher workshop in St. Louis (better on the budget anyway) and not to go to the birthday lunch of my "adopted family's" aunt (whom I also love spending time with, but we were also celebrating her birthday later in the evening, and I felt like it was a good decision to stay home.) So...I slept in (until 8:30, that is...which surprisingly feels like sleeping in, these days!), went to Curves to exercise (got my 3 times in for the week! Yeah!), cleaned my room, bathrooms, and kitchen, did laundry, and watched a movie. So...even though there were things to do, they were mostly at-home things, which was a nice change of pace.

Today I woke up, and I'll admit my attitude wasn't the best. I was in a hurry to make it to my 8:30 praise team practice, running out the door with breakfast in my hands, grumbling about the 40 minute commute to get there, wishing I could go to Sunday School instead of missing out because I sing in both services at church, and in general, just feeling down. At church I just had that "I'm feeling lonely, but I also don't feel like hanging out with people" feeling. The sermon was about worry (but more on that later!) After church, I usually eat lunch with friends or pack a lunch to save money and go to my classroom to work until evening small groups, saving an extra commute home and back. But today, I just didn't feel like it. Sometimes it feels lonely just going to the school and "working" by myself on Sunday I drove home. Still in a "self-pity" mood, I decided to rest, and for the first time in weeks, I took a Sunday afternoon nap! :) So, though the day started out kind of rough, this afternoon I curled up with my mom on the couch to watch t.v. after my nap, then ended the day at the park, taking pictures of the pretty leaves and feeding the ducks who were about to fly out for the night. (Hoping to share a picture or two soon!) It turned out to be such a peaceful time.

So, not to bore you with all the details of my weekend, but it was just such a blessing to stay here and do slow down, rest, and feel better about being more prepared at home before starting a new week. I also confess I still love curling up by my mom and laying my head on her shoulder. Sometimes that's the best feeling in the world.

By the way, December seems so far away, and I'm getting more anxious to hear from the IMB about my application every day. I really really finished the final part this week, with my doctor's visit and blood count check, because you have to have medical clearance before they will invite you to the interview conference. So...once those results come back and I fax them in, it will just be a matter of time before the whole thing is completely processed. I know it is in God's hands, and I'm not worried, just...impatient!

Hoping you have a wonderful week!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Today I'm wishing a happy birthday to my favorite man in the dad!

I feel so blessed to have grown up in a Christian home with supportive parents, and a father who loved me, cared for me, provided for me, and taught me so much!

I love my dad because...
He is a hard worker.
He trusts the Lord with his whole heart, even when life is full of challenges/sorrows.
He is brave. (He did move with my mom to another country for two years, recently, after all, plus many other brave things he has done in his life!)
He is so very intelligent and talented. He has built several of the houses we've lived in, almost earned a degree in electrical engineering and can do electrical work, works on cars, understands a lot of ocmputer things, manages finances, and, well...the list goes on!
He cares...about our family, and about others. He is a social worker and has worked with children, adults, and teens in many different walks of life, but currently serves the soldiers at our local military base, helping them through the choices they have made dealing with substance abuse. It's a hard job, but he gives it his all.
He is silly...meaning there are plenty of corny jokes to go around, among other "silliness."
He is wise. (Yes, I confess, when you are a "grown-up" you have a little better insight into just how wise a parent is...haha)
He is tall.
He DAD! :)
*(There are so many other things I could put here, but then I would be up all night, and yesterday I talked about time, so I'm going to stop for now!)

Meet my family! We were finally all together again, which happens rarely these days! I'll let you guess which one our dad is...(please refer to the comment about him being "silly" above! haha)
Back row L-R: Sister-in-law Kristin, brother Mark, their son Lane, brother Bryan
Second to back Row L-R: Mom, Dad, Sister Kimberly (and baby Benjamin who hadn't quite made his entrance into the world of family pictures yet...he was born a few weeks later!), brother-in-law Ken
Third to back Row L-R: Niece Kaylee (Bryan's daughter), Sister Carrie, ME!, Niece Megan (Bryan's daughter)
Front Row L-R: Nephew Elijah McAdams, (Kim and Ken's son), Niece Abigale McAdams (Kim and Ken's daughter), Chelsea (Bryan's daughter), Hannah (Bryan's daughter), Sarah Grace (Bryan's daughter), and Laura (Mark and Kristin's daughter)

That's right, case you lost count, I am the youngest of five kids, and I have seven nieces and three nephews. Yes five of the girls belong to Bryan and his wife Melissa (who was unable to come for the picture b/c she works as a nurse on weekends), bless their souls! haha I love my big family and wouldn't have it any other way! Which is good, since I was born last and don't have much of a choice! :) I'm the BABY!! 

This was taken on New Year's Day 2008 in Okinawa, Japan. I got to go and visit my mom and dad during my last college Christmas break while they were living there. Again, refer to the "silly" comment above! ;) haha

When I was little, my parents used to tease me about "whose girl I was..." because I was (and probably still am) very much a Mama's girl. But...on special occasions, I sometimes agreed to be "Daddy's girl" as long as he wouldn't tell Mom! ;) So...I guess today I'll be your girl! But just today! And here's hoping Mom doesn't read this blog post! haha 

Happy Birthday, to the best dad in the whole world!! I love you!! 

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


I've been praying, especially since the sermon on Sunday and our weekly chapter from our small group study of "The Christian Atheist." (Which by the way is a great and challenging book that I highly recommend, but that is another post in itself.) We were challenged last week to truly seek God's help in making changes in our life that we've considered "impossible" or just ruled out by saying "I'm just this way..." "I can't do that..." etc. We were challenged to ask God what it is we need to change.

Today, God said, "Time."

I've been thinking for a long time about how much time I spend on mindless things like facebook. But honestly I don't think I wanted to change that. I knew it was a lot, but somehow I justified it because when I come home from work in the evenings, I just want to sit for a little while and think about nothing, the computer I go.

But so often I say, "I don't have time to do...." or "I used to write encouraging cards so often, but lately I just don't have the time..." or "I wish I had more time to read..."

Well, I realized today, I DO have time. It's just the ways I choose to spend my time that make it disappear. What if instead of refreshing a silly facebook page to see what everyone is up to every five minutes I spent that time writing a card to a friend who needs encouragement? What if instead of sitting on the couch doing nothing, I enjoyed couch time while reading that book I wish I had time to finish? What if instead of letting myself feel down and discontent because I'm not in grad school/married/having children/overseas/still in college with friends/you fill in the blank with whatever "exciting thing" other people are doing and I'm not...I spent time focusing on the task God HAS given me right now...looking for ways to lead and encourage the 550 kids He has provided for me to love and care for and be an example to each day? What if?

So instead of, "what if?" now I need to say, "Why not?" I had considered the other ideas before, but God really spoke to me and showed me that it is all of those things combined into the time they take that distract me from growing closer to Him.

God has also been teaching me about distractions. Especially since the Spring. At that time, He gave me the courage to deal with a situation that was somewhat distracting, and my heart had a peace about it. Then, for the entire summer, I fought that distraction in my mind, lingering over it time and time again, thinking it could never go away. And suddenly, God was faithful in helping that distraction to fade. Then, yet again, He surprised me by turning that mirror around for me to see myself and saying, "Don't BE a distraction." Whoah, God. Me? A distraction? But how? I'm not the kind of person who can be...." and yet again I felt on my heart, "Don't be..." And so I have been able to calmly set aside the distraction to me, and myself as a distraction, focus on how I can grow in Him, and seek the desire to be like Him with ALL my heart.

Of course I don't always understand His ways, but as Solomon shared through his wisdom,
"The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?" -Proverbs 20:24-

Today, God said, "Time," and I'm ready not to simply listen, but to follow...with my Heavenly Father in the lead.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Inside a Music Teacher's Head...

It can be quite a crazy place if you're not used to it! haha

Here are just a few things constantly running through this music teacher's head:

"A sailor went to sea, chop, knee, tap, ooowachiwada, to see what he could see, chop, knee, tap, oowachiwada, but all that he could see, chop, knee, tap, oowachiwada, was the bottom of the deep blue sea, chop, knee, tap, oowachiwada!"

"My mother did a tell me that you go mango walk, you go mango walk, you go mango walk, my mother did a tell me that you go mango walk, and eat all the number 'levens!" (complete with Jamaican accompaniment music playing while the words run through! haha)

"Wiggle like a wiggle worm, stand like a statue" (complete with motions...)

"Ta, ta, tiri-tiri, ta....ti-ti, ti-ti, ta-ah....ta-a-a-ah, tiri-ti, tiri-ti, ti-ti, ta"

"You missed a beat..." (You'd have to be there for this one, but it's a program called "Music Ace" we use in class with the Smart Board, and there is a little old man who tells us what to do and has a funny accent...sometimes he gets impatient! haha Pronounce that as, "Youuu meeesed ah beeeet!")

"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?"


"Where are my stickers again? Where did the marker go? What did this group do last week? Which one of my 22 classes is coming next? Did I document that? Who just went to the restroom? How many kids did I have again? Oh yes, one is missing..."

"Stand up, sit down, don't run, please sing, echo me, sit-up, yes, no, raise your hand, listen and sing, one, two, ready, go..."


Sometimes I even break into random motions to go with each song...see the Wiggle Worm/Statue line above...and if you suddenly see me "wiggling" down the street and freezing like a statue, you'll know why!

And oh, I'm sure there are many more things going through this mind of mine, the beginning of a crazy day, when I see the smiles on those kiddos' faces, and they jump off the bus, run to me, give me hugs, and say, "Miss VINEGAR!" I fall in love with all the silly things running through my mind again, and it's all worth it! :)

Promise not to hold it against me when I break into song mid-conversation?...

Monday, October 11, 2010

11 Days...

Until I get to visit my other favorite home...Arkansas! I've been so homesick for my friends, "family," campus, and church there lately. I don't even have many friends left on campus now that it's been two and a half years since graduation. Really, that long? Time goes so fast...

I'll get to stay with one of my favorite families from church who adopted me while I was there and provided love and encouragement when I was homesick for my real family and my first home...Missouri. I'll get to walk around campus and even be a part of the Homecoming festivities. To see the marching band at the football game. To give hugs to people I've been longing to hug for months.

It never feels like I've left when I go back to church there. FBC Arkadelphia was my family for five years. And I'm so blessed to know so many wonderful people who love taking care of college students. I miss it there!

I can't wait...

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Make Me a Mirror...

A little over a year ago I started my blog with this post. When trying to think of a name for my blog, God suddenly put the name "Make Me a Mirror" on my mind after reading this verse.

"So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord - who is the Spirit - makes us more and more like Him as we are changed into His glorious image." - 2 Corinthians 3:18

It is my greatest desire every day to be more like my Jesus. I can think of no one greater to mirror than the man who gave His life to save me from my sins. He came to Earth, a living man, testifying, teaching, and leading many people. He was tempted, but never fell into sin. He was the one and only Son of God, and the Savior of the world.

Today our pastor challenged us to seek areas in our lives where God is leading us to make changes. Not changes that WE can make...but changes that we must rely on HIM to make. We must SEEK those changes and ask God continually to help us as we make them. We must not say "I can't..." or "It's not worth it..." or "It will never happen..." because through HIM, ANYthing is possible!

I am praying not only that God will show me areas where I can be more like Him, but also HOW I am to make those changes. Like the pastor said, it may be painful, it may take time, it may be something we don't think is a problem, it may even be something that seems harmless, but when God lays it on our hearts, we are to be obedient in admitting it is a problem, seeking His help, COMPLETELY surrendering it to Him, and allowing Him to change and shape us even more into His image. It may be a day by day thing, or even a minute by minute thing. But it is my job to pray constantly, pleading to God for the strength and obedience to make the changes.

What a challenge...but what a comfort to know that my reflection will no longer simply be "me" but my Savior AND me looking back at the world together...

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

A Great Day at WW!! :)

So...I'm not huge into making a big deal about weight/image/diet, etc...but I do want to share that today, I finally had a great loss at my Weight Watchers meeting! I lost 4.2 lbs this week and now have a total loss of just over 26lbs! I have been waiting and working toward 25lbs for a loooong time now, and have gotten as close as 23, then gone back to 22, etc. But...hooray! The best part is how much of a lifestyle this has become for me since February. I still eat all the things I like, never feel hungry or deprived, and really focus on making healthier choices, eating filling foods, watching portion sizes, and preparing ahead if I'm going to enjoy a splurge like pizza night! I feel good that over the summer, though I only lost around 2lbs in 2 months, I was able to maintain my weight loss up to that point rather than gaining back quickly. That to me shows this is becoming a lifestyle, and that I am losing slowly in a really healthy way. I have also really enjoyed exercising regularly, which has helped. I go to Curves three times a week and have a great time visiting with other ladies there. I also try to walk when I can at home. Plus, my job is so great because I am up on my feet singing and moving ALL day with my kids! Thanks for letting me share my good news for the day! :)

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Have I told you my new name?...

You heard it here first, friends...Miss Vinegar. Yep, I can't help it. It's so cute coming from the mouth of an ambitious (and super ornery but very bright) kindergartener, that I can't correct it.  :)

I just love my kiddos. All of them...even the tough ones. Although I wish I were more effective at managing them/providing discipline/boundaries/choices...but it's coming with time. A kindergarten teacher told me on Friday that her kids gave me the nicest compliment. They were having a class discussion about teachers who are respectful to them and they enjoy a lot...and someone said, "Don't forget Miss Whitaker!" It felt good to be considered a "respectful" teacher who cares about them a lot.

Today my fourth graders put three rhythms together. It sounded SO cool...really simple rhythms, but they just fit together, and we were "jammin'!" haha (It was especially fun with the new drums we have this year through the grant I won last Spring!!)

Thank you to all of you who voted for my project at Limeades for Learning online last was funded! We now have 19 new pairs of mallets for our classroom instruments. What a blessing! I have another project listed, and there are three days left to vote, so please try to help that one get funded too! It is called "We Love Reading- Reading to the Beat!" I'm requesting hand drums so my whole class can play together, and incorporate literacy with music! Just go to and click on "Find a Project""Location" (Missouri) then "City" (Ft. Leonard Wood). You'll see my project listed there. You can vote with multiple e-mail addresses, and it's free! You just have to log into your e-mail and verify if it's your first time to vote. Thanks again!! :)

Happy Wednesday, world!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Curve Ball

Here I left field....ready to catch? Throw? Run? What does a girl in left field do, anyway? When I was little, I preferred to stare at the sky, play in the dirt, and talk to the other kids on base...which resulted in my parents deciding paying for a summer softball team every summer was probably not the best investment.

But...I guess that's where I'm at. Waiting and ready to catch that ball. Whatever it looks like. And whenever it comes. Whether it's here, overseas, with a husband and family, on my own...only the Lord knows.

"In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." -Proverbs 16:9

So...lately I've been enjoying the first bit of time when I get to school. I try to get there early enough that I have just a few minutes to sit in my car and read a little from the Bible. It's so quiet, and just that little bit of peace I need before I step out and the rush of my day begins. Today I read Proverbs 16. It has been a recurring theme for my life lately, I'd say.

Randomness...I think I have talkingtoboysinpersonandonthephonewhohavepotentialforbeinglikedphobia. (That's because I couldn't find the real name for it, and I decided to make my own super long and cool looking name. Plus, it's more literal and easier to remember, right?) So, I am convinced the Lord will have to provide just the right guy at the right time, and probably throw him in my path...or something. I get TOO nervous when people try to set me up or "introduce" me to someone. I hate that feeling. Too awkward, and not fun for me. At all. Like...tight chest, nauseous, yucky feeling kind of no fun. When the guy calls, I can't pick up the phone, and then I am afraid call back...I suppose I'll get better at this with time. (As in this week, maybe tomorrow, that I'm not rude.) I just never know what to say in the conversation. I know better than to say never, but I dare say I will never try to meet a potential guy online. I also get nervous when it's someone I already know. I know this is normal, but the fact that once I think I'm interested in a person I was perfectly fine talking to and hanging out with before, I can't even look at/sit by/talk to that person for long periods of a little crazy. I experienced this in college. I have had guy friends I enjoyed talking to and hanging out with...but I didn't really look at them as any more than friends. When I got awkward. And I have only had one friend I've ever been able to tell about my true feelings. I feel so blessed to have that friend, and God gave me the courage and boldness to be honest, yet know our friendship would continue after that. And it has. So...again, here I am Lord...waiting in the outfield....for that curve ball. Maybe I should practice my ball skills.

Let's just hope I'm not too busy staring at the sky and playing in the dirt to catch it, huh?...