Sometimes it is hard to let go of something you want to be in charge of. Or a lot of things you want to be in charge of. I have trouble believing....I mean really believing with my whole heart that God knows what is best for me and will provide that. I think that I need to hold onto my "list" or my "plan" I've made and let Him take care of only part of it.
Tonight I was watching a beautiful and awesome video on another friend's blog of a baptismal service their church had at a river, and the song in the background was bout freedom. As each person came up out of the water, they were symbolizing the new life that comes in Christ....and the freedom He provides when we let go and allow Him to reign first in our lives. And I realized - sometimes I forget about that freedom. I sense God's presence and seek to deepen my relationship with Him, yet I'm secretly afraid to truly surrender and let go of everything.
And then God gently reminds me that He knows. He has a plan that is far better and far more exciting than anything I could ever imagine. And as He reveals different plans little by little, I realize how easy it feels. I find myself wondering why I know something is right or how I have the assurance that God is leading my heart in a certain direction...and I realize it's the freedom found in my Jesus that has allowed me this...ease in trusting God as He works and shapes my life. No, that doesn't mean that following Him is going to be easy. There are costs to that. But none as great as the cost He paid to give me freedom. For that I will always be grateful.
Today I am thankful, though, for the ease I feel in letting God show me another piece of a picture in my life. Thankful that only He knows how it is going to piece together, but that already God has shown me different aspects only He knows about my heart's desires and how He can and will meet those needs and desires of my heart.
Sometimes all you need to say is in a smile. And my heart is smiling right now.