Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Somewhere in the Middle

A few weeks ago I picked up a Casting Crowns CD at Lifeway. I was passing some time there, just browsing, and it was actually one of those last minute, on-sale at the register for $5.00 splurges. I love this group, and God speaks to me so much through their lyrics that are so real and honest. I knew a few of the songs on the CD, but one caught my ear when it came on. I don't remember ever hearing it before, and I was I had kind of half-tuned out the music in the background while my mind thought about other things, but then these lyrics came on:

Somewhere between the hot and the cold,
Somewhere between the new and the old,
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be,
Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me.

Somewhere between the wrong and the right,
Somewhere between the darkness and the light,
Somewhere between who I was, and who you're making me,
Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me.

Just how close can I get to my surrender, without losing all control -
Fearless warriors in a picket fence,
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense,
Deep water faith in the shallow end, and we are caught in the middle.
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is,
But will we trade our dreams for His, or are we caught in the middle?

Somewhere between my heart and my hands,
Somewhere between my faith and my plans,
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves,
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar.

Somewhere between the altar and the door,
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more,
Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me.

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender, without losing all control -
Lord I feel you in this place, and I know you're by my side -
Loving me even on these nights when I am caught in the middle.

I can't think of a more perfect song to describe where I am at now. I can't tell you how many times I've pushed "repeat" on the CD player in my car and just soaked in these words. I feel so stuck in the middle...of everything right now. I am still waiting and trusting to see where He is leading my heart and my passion for internationals and overseas ministry as well as ministry here. I am searching for options and keeping my heart and eyes open for opportunities that could be in store in the coming year. The one thing I know is - I am SO thankful like the lyrics say - He DOES love me...He loves each of us - even at those "middle" times.

Here is the video - 

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