Honest...

I have been finding little ways to celebrate each day and haven't kept up with listing them via blog this week, but I'll try to catch up on those this weekend. I've decided that if I don't have a "celebration" (and even if I do) I should also think of something I'm thankful for each day. Looking forward to making that list too.

I'm going to be honest. I'm feeling really frustrated, tired, and annoyed with a lot of things right now. I am tired of the negativity of others around me. (I'm not perfect and not always positive, and that statement wasn't meant to make me sound like I am...like I said, I'm just being honest about where I'm at right now.) I'm ready for some change. And I'm at one of those points where I just want to go away somewhere for a day or two, be alone, and recharge my introverted side. It's hard staying positive when you're also trying to recharge negativity around you. I feel restless, and I feel like I've poured 110% of myself into others and neglected the most important thing to refuel myself...

Which leads me to the fact that I can pinpoint the exact reason for these feelings of overwhelmingness. I need to pray. To stop. To talk and most of all to listen. I need to dig deep into the Word and see what it is God has for me right now. Yes, I've been trying to pour "positive" into all the situations in my life, but I've been doing it on my own, and where my absolute human amount of "positive" stops, I've failed to ask the Lord for His joy and strength. I've held tightly onto the reigns and taken control where I need to let go. No, everything is not perfect when you are a Christian, and things are definitely not always easy, but oh how I seem to forget how much lighter the yoke is when I give things over to God and let Him pull me through. I feel so tired, frustrated, and mostly annoyed, and you know what - God knows that. But He also knows how it is when I yield to His presence and provision obediently and tell Him that, asking how He wants to help me through.

I'm praying I will not just write these words here but I will actually take time to stop, pray, and believe them. I need God to give me His yoke right now and give me rest. I don't think I can take anymore "negative."

²⁸ Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30