I was just thinking about how being an adult has changed my perspective on some things. Growing up I always had pretty low self-esteem. I had a healthy, supportive family, and plenty of friends...but for some reason I just always had that feeling in my mind that there was something wrong with me, or I wasn't worthwhile. Not to sound depressing, and I know that is something most children/teens struggle with at some point, but - it was kind of a big deal for me. So...tonight I started thinking about it. While I still have insecurities, I think I am better able to manage those. I have the ability to stop, consider why I am feeling that way, and make a choice. I can believe the thoughts in my mind, or replace them with truth. Often that truth comes from Scripture and the overwhelming knowledge that God has created me to be who I am, and He is not finished yet...He is continuously leading me to be the woman He wants me to be. So...it's not always easy, but it is definitely manageable.
I also think that learning about who I am, what I enjoy, what my passions are, and using the heart God has given me to love and serve has played a big part in feeling more confident in myself. I thought of the words "quiet adventure" to describe my life today. While I am a really quiet person, I love to try new things, travel, meet new people, and surprise people who get to know me with fun things "opposite" of my quiet personality that make me who I am. I may not be the most outwardly bold person, but I think that God helps me to be bold in different ways - not just through words. And I'm ok with that. Sometimes my quiet and gentle spirit are what show His love to others around me the most. Yes, God calls us to speak up and to share outwardly at times, but He also has each of us do that in unique ways.
So - all that to say, earlier in life, if I had faced the situation I am facing now, or someone had said the words that have been ringing in my mind for a few weeks, I would have looked at them in a negative light toward myself. But now, I am thankful to say that God has begun to show me that who I am is just who He has created me to be. There are a lot of really great things that make me, me! (Is it really ok to say something like that about myself, because it feels weird! ha)
Here are the lyrics in part of a song from some music a friend recently introduced me too. I just like what this part says:
"The hardest part isn't finding what we need to be. It's being content with who we are. Stay who you are."
Here is the link to a passage that really speaks to my heart about this...(Psalm 139) I pray you are also finding out who you are and learning to trust and thank God for who He has created you uniquely to be. You are a wonderful and worthwhile person!