Friday, March 23, 2012

"Yet you Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are the work of your hand."
-Isaiah 64:8

I am so humbled when I think about how very much God does to shape me into the person I am. I am in awe when I consider even the finest details He plans, molds, flattens, then shapes again. Like my heart.

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4

I've known for a long time that I wanted to be a teacher. And I knew throughout college that I would be a music teacher. Despite the challenges of surviving a music degree program having had no real academic-based music training before going, and learning to practice a million hours a day, and so much more...I just knew in my heart that I would teach music. Then God developed my passion for internationals, for service, for missions, and for ESL ministry. And I began to think my biggest purpose would be to one day live internationally and be a missionary somewhere around the world. And that might still be in store. I definitely have that passion to serve in short-term opportunities. But...

God has taken my heart into His hands and reshaped it yet again. He has reminded me that teaching is where I was called first. And that music is what I love. Often the reason I feel most doubtful about this calling is because I doubt myself and question my (lack of?) knowledge, (in-?)ability to teach effectively, and (still?) developing classroom management skills.

Today I was thinking, though. I love that I get to teach almost 550 children each week. I love that I get to talk with them and interact with them and care for them. I love that I am able to show them respect and model (hopefully!) a positive attitude and kind, encouraging words. I believe in them. I can't think of another mission field I would rather be serving on right now. There are so many needs to be met here, and so much joy and hope to be shared with these kiddos God has entrusted me with. He has taken my heart's desire to love, serve, and reach others, and put it right in front of me. Well, maybe it has been right in front of me for awhile (almost four years!), and I'm just now beginning to open my eyes and see the plans that He has for me right now.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. -Jeremiah 29:11

Most days I don't feel like clay in a potter's hands. I feel like a stubborn mess, wanting to make my own plans and have control of all that goes on as well as the purpose I have each day. But, even when I fall to the ground like a shattered work, God picks up the pieces again, and creates something even more beautiful...a mosaic that makes up my life and who I am. I am reminded that He is constantly at work, and he NEVER, ever gives up on me. Or you. His love is everlasting...100%!

And so, today I'm thankful that God has put 550 kids in my care each day. And I pray I will do my best to serve on the mission field He has blessed me with, right here. I pray that I will trust His hands to continue molding and shaping me into His image. There is such joy resting in His will!

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