Wednesday, March 14, 2012

It's Good.... be me!

I wrote not too long ago about being the person I am...and what that means to me.

I have to say - it takes a lot for me, a person , most people, I truly like who they are. Everyone has some kind of insecurity, and if you are the one person in the world who does not have anything you would change about yourself...I would like to meet you. And find out what your secret is. And applaud you. But - I bet the truth is, you might secretly have something you wouldn't mind changing about yourself.

Finding out who I truly am has been a lifelong process. I mean, I think we are all always growing, changing, and becoming the people God created us to be, whether we are aware of His hand in that, or not. And I will continue to do that. But the past year has been the biggest growing experience I have ever had in my twenty-six (Almost twenty-seven already? Yikes!) years of life. I have spent a lot of time praying, seeking wisdom and counsel from other Christians, and truly looking at myself inside and out. And while I will always be able to find something about myself I would like to change, I have something to say that is kind of a big deal a HUGE deal for me.

I like who I am.

I don't know that I ever thought I would be able to say those words. Especially not out loud, in public, or on a blog for everyone to see. I am finally beginning, not to just say I see myself through God's eyes, but to believe it. To stop myself in those negative self-talk instances and ask why I'm thinking about myself in that negative way. I'm understanding that it's ok not to be perfect, and that no one really expects me to be. I don't have to meet unrealistic self-set expectations. I am becoming thankful for the time of life God has given me as a teacher, daughter, sister, friend, aunt, single person, and any other things you might think of, and also thanking Him for what He has in store for matter what it might be. I am learning to speak His truth from Scripture and fill my mind with His words when mine want so desperately to take over and put myself down.

I will always have anxious moments/hours/days. And I will not always jump for joy when I look in the mirror. I am normal! But...I am an individual worth knowing. I am a teacher who cares 110% about the kids God has given me to reach out to each day. I am a friend who loves to spend time and build relationships with others. I am a daughter, sister, and aunt who is blessed by the family who challenges me to learn and grow constantly through their Christian examples. I am a mistake maker. I am a single person who has time now to explore the world on my own and enjoy the time God has given me to take care of myself...yet know with hope, that He has a plan and purpose for me in the future to share my life with someone else. I am a child of God, loved unconditionally, and made unique in the Creator's image.

I don't have a magic step-by-step process for getting to this point. There will be constant work ahead as I live in the world, and I know it is so easy to fall into the pit of disbelief and discontentment. But God is good....all the time! I'm saying all of these things, not to brag. Not to say how I'm a person any better than anyone else. But to share the amazing power and blessing that has come in finding assurance through Christ that I am who He has created me to be. What joy! How can I not share that with the world?! Life is a lot more fun when you can enjoy who you are created to be. If you are reading this, you matter, and God made you are an amazing person. I hope you'll be able to say these words one day with truth as well, "I like me!"

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